It's Never Too Late
by Eixel
Summary: A certain pilot is ready to risk what he believes is inevitable rejection from a certain CO. Will he be right, or will he get the girl of his dreams...and his guilty nightmares? Just remember - the past always comes back to haunt you. FemShepard/Joker
1. Late Night Coffee

It was 0100 and Joker was sitting in his chair, his mind wandering over the various events that had happened not many hours ago. Shepard had taken out the collector base, much to the Illusive Man's dismay. He was glad everyone made it out alright, especially Shepard.

Ryla Shepard.

He felt sick to his stomach thinking about the jump she had to make to the_ Normandy_ from the edge of the base. At that moment, he felt as if he were going to to loose her. Again. After she had...died saving him two years ago, he never forgave himself. Not that any of the surviving crew would let him anyway.

"EDI," Joker said to the AI, "Take over the controls. I'm going to get some coffee."

"Understood, Jeff," EDI replied in her normal, unemotional voice.

Joker, still overwhelmed with thoughts of his commander, stepped into the elevator to head to the mess-hall located on Deck Three. Once he reached his designated floor, he walked into the kitchen, silently thankful he was the only one roaming around this area at night. He brewed himself a pot of coffee, and sat down at one of the tables. He stared blankly at the coffee in his mug, continuing to think about his CO.

Some of her features had changed when Cerberus rebuilt her. Her hair was always in a knotted ponytail when they served together on the _SSV Normandy_. It was a light ash brown, he assumed it was past her shoulder when she let it down, which she never did in front of the crew. Now her hair was extremely short and wispy; a platinum blonde that was practically almost white. She was bald when he rejoined the crew. He could tell she was self-conscious over it, but she played it off well.

Her eyes, an icy green which he got himself lost in on numerous occasions, were now albino, and her skin had a gorgeous copper tone, but now she was pale as a ghost.

Yet she still had the cute nose that scrunched up every time she laughed - the sound that warmed his heart. Her eyes, they still sparkled when she had something exciting or daring on her mind, but could still stab at you when she was angry. Her lips weren't as pink as he remembered, but when she spoke he was utterly hypnotized by them. So soft looking, so kissable.

She was as beautiful and flawless in his eyes as she was before, give or take a few new scars, and the lack of old ones. Her voice, it was still full of power. He loved when she said his name, no matter what mood she was in...

"Joker?"

So many men, even woman, Asari to Krogan, would probably kill to have a woman like Shepard – he definitely would. Though, he knew and accepted that an amazing - no - perfect woman like her would never go for the crippled pilot.

"Moreau!"

Joker's head snapped up, and his line of sight was caught by pale, weary eyes.

"Oh...h-hey Commander!" he stuttered out, rubbing his eyes with the back of his arm, blinking rapidly to see if he was awake.

"Do you want me to pour you another cup? I'm gonna get some for myself," Shepard said to him in a gentle whisper.

"Huh?" Joker asked, still not sure if he was sleeping or not.

She pointed to his cup of coffee, now cold and untouched from his daydreaming. He nodded and watched her take his mug and walk away. The mess-hall was dark, but he got a better look at Shepard when she stepped into the light that dimly lit the kitchen area. She proceeded to empty his mug, and refill that one and one for herself. She was wearing a pair of powder blue gym shorts, and a white tee-shirt. Not the standard uniform she always slept in. He could see on the back of her thigh where she had a patched up wound. The white bandages were a bit bloody, but nothing too bad. Her hair was a mess; it looked like she was running her fingers through it repeatedly. She walked back over and slid his cup over to him, sitting in the chair across the table.

"Rough day, huh lieutenant?" Shepard said, the happy tone in her voice sounded strained.

Joker examined her face the best he could in the dark. He could barley make out a new gash under her eye, and a scabby lip. He guessed she got them during the mission. He shook his head and looked at the woman before him. Her coffee was halfway done, and his, once again, untouched. He took a sip - it was still warm.

"Yeah, it was a pretty rough ma'am. I'm just glad we made it back out of that hellhole, and didn't, well, you know, end up like the rest of those scrap ships."

She chuckled gently, " Couldn't have done it without you Joker. The whole team did a great job." She leaned back and let out a sigh, frowning, worry lines across her forehead, " Its not over yet, though. It'll never be over."

Joker looked at her eyes. Her eyes seemed to show how tired and worried she was, but her face was hard; her usual mask she wore day-to-day, "Commander, is something wrong?"

She looked as if she was going to say, "no, just tired," or something along those lines, but what he herd was:

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't Shepard."

Joker looked at her with a puzzled expression on his face, "Why not? You're a hero! You've done what people can only dream about! You're the first human Spectre, savior of the Citadel, you stopped Saren, you-"

Shepard raised up her right hand, immediately silencing Joker, "I get it, but I wish it all wasn't ever necessary. So many people have lost their lives. Everyone is looking at me to fix everything, to stop all this maddness...sometimes I just wish..." She stopped talking. It was silent for a moment, then Joker spoke.

"Wish what Shepard?"

She looked reluctant to answer, "I wish I had someone to look up to, believe in them to fix everything, but I believe the person everyone looks to to save the day is me. It's just getting tiring, I feel as if we're fighting an endless battle." She leaned forward, placing both of her hands on the table atop of one another, "Its my job though, and I'll do my best to protect the universe until I die, again."

She noticed Joker winced at her mentioning her death, "Sorry."

He smiled lightly to let her know that it was okay, but then his face went into shock when the Commander took hold of both of his hands, " I'm glad you're here Joker, you've been my rock through all of this."

Gosh, her hands were so cold. Even then, he never thought her hands would be so..soft, feminine. He gently rubbed Shepard's palm with his thumb.

"Something on your mind lieutenant?"

He stopped what he was doing. She was smiling at him. She obviously didn't pull away, so maybe she...Maybe?

"I'll be here Commander, unless, well, you start recruiting zombies or something. I think we have enough danger on here with all the lovable creatures you like to collect, but there's only so far you can push it!"

The Commander laughed an authentic laugh, which was...rare, but so cute.

"Technically I am a 'zombie' Joker, living dead and all." She joked, grinning widely at him, with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Yeah," he laughed sarcastically, "No. You're more like a God, not a brain craving undead!...Or are you?"

They continued to joke and talk about the 'good ol' days' until Shepard checked the time, Joker's eyes following hers to the time. It was a little after 0300. He had been here with the commander alone for longer than he has ever been, and Shepard was still clutching onto his hands – tight.

"I think its time for me to head up Joker. Go get some sleep – that's an order." She let go of his hands, and Joker missed her touch already. She stood up, wincing slightly, probably from her wound, and went to put their mugs away.

He loved that woman so much that it made his heart ached.

He wanted to tell her, he really did. At least he'd have some kind of chance if she knew...or get thrown out the nearest airlock. He got himself up and walked with her over to the elevator. They both stepped inside, and Shepard raised a brow at him, " Where are you going?"

Joker didn't meet her gaze as he pressed the button for Deck Two, "I like sleeping in my chair better." She shook her head, finding him unbelievable. He waited for her to press the button for the Captain's Cabin; she didn't.

When the elevator reached his deck, he made his way to his chair, stopping and glancing behind him a couple of times, seeing Shepard stopping when he stopped, and hearing her light footsteps when he walked. Once he was in his chair, he asked the woman standing idly behind him, "Uh, Commander?"

She came and sat next to his chair on the cold, metal floor, "I'm making sure you don't disobey my order LT!"

He chuckled, "Aye, aye ma'am!" He gave a quick salute, "commencing sleep, now!"

He pretended to sleep at first, but when he opened his eyes and checked the time, it was 0600. He herd voice throughout the deck, the _Normandy_ at its usual at this time in the morning. He looked to his right side and on the floor was Shepard. Same spot as last night, but with her head leaning against the side of the chair and...his hat on her head? He touched the top of his head, his hat was definitely gone. Before he could register anything, Shepard was starting to stand up,looking around as if she was completely lost. He looked at her...how could she be such an amazing and powerful commander, but still be undeniably adorable?

"Morning sleepyhead," he grinned at her. She nodded in acknowledgment, massaging her left shoulder, "Set a course for the Citadel, I think the crew deserves a few days off to recoup." He went straight to messing with the controls, " Aye, aye ma'am, ETA one hour." He looked up at her and she was scrunching her face, probably from all the bright lights. He loved when she did that. She practically waddled over to the elevator, probably going to her room. Joker turned his head back to the controls and chuckled. He herd Kelly mention new messages for Shepard, and a few seconds later herd the elevator doors shut. Then he remembered and thought to himself,

"Am I going to get my hat back?"

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(A/N)

I haven't written in a while, and even not at all on this account. I'll probably only update this story once a week, because I write it during my two study halls during the school day~(Sr year, woot-ness.) and I'm usually running around after school. Another thing I'd like to note is that the tables in the mess hall in the game are HUGE. No way they could reach across the table...I realize that when I was playing the new DLC Lair of the Shadow Broker. I honestly loved it. I didn't have a relationship with Liara, but the end scene was adorable...and I loved all the jokes (:

"Truck!" "I know!" "Truck!" "I know! ..There we go!" "You're enjoying this!" If you haven't gotten it, GET IT..."Truck!" "Again?" Best 800msp evarr.I will be continuing this story, alert it if you want more, and good day to you reader~!


	2. I Love Your Face

The _Normandy _had docked about a half an hour ago, and by now, everyone except that geth, Grunt, and Samara had gotten off the ship, and headed to different destinations.

Joker overheard Jacob inviting Miranda to roam the Bachjret Wards, where he lived when he served in the Alliance, and she had accepted. "_Those two have been pretty close since we've gotten back,"_ Joker thought when they left, then shrugged it off.

He assumed Thane had gone to see his son, Kolyat, who he hadn't seen since him and Shepard stopped him from assassinating that Turian.

Jack and Kasumi left together, probably up to something that's going to annoy the Commander later. He really hoped they weren't trying to make a profit off parts of the _Normandy_...he'd check later.

Massani practically announced to the whole deck that he was going to get wasted beyond our wildest imaginations. Hell, grandpa might be pushing over 40, but he didn't act it.

Garrus was pursuing an anything but please Tali'Zorah off the ship. Between the incomprehensible bickering between the two, Joker could only make out "kill you" and "shotgun" from Tali. Those two are the most loving friends, aren't they?

Mordin and Doctor C. were talking a bit about...medical matters, and other stuff that Joker couldn't give a crap and a half about.

The rest of the crew lefts in various groups or by themselves. Some going to see family, some going to buy things, some just ready to get off the damn ship and get a well deserved break.

Joker was quite content just staying here, alone. Unless you count EDI, but she didn't bother him much now that she had full control over the ship and stuff. Were they ever going to re-shackle her? He didn't know. Shepard seemed to trust her so he would, too.

It was quiet around the deck, besides the endless beeping from the control consoles, but Joker didn't notice them really. He was humming a random and catchy tune while browsing the extranet for nothing in particular. Being absorbed in his time-killing, he didn't notice the sound of heavy footsteps coming up from behind him. So of course, when he felt something plop on his head, he was extremely frightened, which cause him to let out a...less than manly scream.

Then he herd loud laughter that made his stomach flutter. He turned his chair to face who was behind him. It was Shepard, and she was in her full armor. It was mostly white, but it had purple going through it in various places, and the occasional hint of gold. She rarely went off the shuttle without it. Though, she wasn't wearing a helmet, as usual. He remembered when he brought that matter up once on the original _Normandy_.

_Shepard had come over to Joker a few minutes after she came back from their most recent mission and asked how he was doing._

"_I'm fine Commander, but I'm just itching to ask a question," He said to her, then waited for her to say..._

"_What's the question Joker?" There we go._

"_Okay, hear me out on this one. You buy all this armor to protect you, but not once have I seen you with a helmet. I mean don't get me wrong, I like seeing your face and all, but I'm pretty sure I like it better without a hole going through your head."_

_She raised an eyebrow at him and shrugged. "The helmet just gets in my way. I doubt I'll get a hole in my head anytime soon anyway, Joker."_

"_But Commander, that doesn't make any sense! Can't you get a helmet that doesn't get in your way or something? And how do you know when -"_

_Shepard crossed her arms, shifting her weight to her left leg, and stared at him hard, her green eyes immediately silencing him, "Are you questioning my choices, lieutenant?"_

_He raised his hands up in defense, "Hey! I was just curious, no need to get all 'oh, Joker is trying to take over my role as the Commander, now I need to break his legs' on me Commander. I just want to make sure you keep your pretty face safe, I like it way too much," Joker quickly realized what he said might have not been the **best** thing to say so he quickly changed the subject. "Ah, we're almost at the Citadel Commander, I'll tell you when we arrive!" _

_Her mouth opened as if she was going to retaliate, but quickly shut it, knowing he wasn't going to reply if she mentioned anything. She turned to walk away, and she said to him, "Thanks for your concern Joker, I might get a helmet one day...not saying I'd wear it though," Then walked away._

_He smacked himself on the forehead, dragging his hand down his face, groaning quietly to himself._

He found out she bought a helmet while she was on the Citadel that same day, still she only wore her helmet a few times, usually on missions she knew were high-risk. He always wonder if that was because of him.

He touched the top of his head. She had put his hat back on. He was glad, he felt practically naked without it, but he'd dealt with it because..well..._Shepard_ had it. Isn't that enough explanation?

"Should be on your toes Joker. Though... a scream like that might scare anyone away!" Shepard teased, a few chuckles still coming out of her.

"Ha ha, laugh it up Commander. Anyway, what are you still doing here?"

She pushed a few strands of her pale hair that was barely past her ears behind her right ear, "I could ask you the same thing. I was just heading out to pick up a few things, maybe get a drink... or ten. And you?"

He shrugged, "I was just gonna stay here until we head off again. I mean I may have upgraded legs now and all, but its still not that easy to," he made an overly giddy face and said in a bit of accent, sounding like Engineer Donnelly: 'go on a stroll around the Citadel!'"

Shepard frowned, "You're coming with me."

"No can do Commander, I need to stay here and... watch the ship. Never know what could come busting through those doors." He wanted to go with her, but spending more time alone... with _Shepard_? He still couldn't get his mind off of last night. Being with her...it felt **right**, but he didn't know how well he could keep his feelings bottled up if he kept spending one-on-one time with her so frequently.

"Oh, don't give me that crap, I'm sure EDI could handle the ship while your gone. Not like you were doing anything," Shepard gestured to his monitor, "You'll take care of the ship, won't you EDI?"

The blue orb appeared next to Shepard. Shepard turned her head to the left to see it, Joker his right, "Yes Shepard. If there are any problems I will notify you immediately."

She glanced at him with a look that perfectly said 'see?'. He groaned and pulled himself out of his seat, "Ah geez, fine. But if my legs fall apart, you're gonna carry me and all my pieces back.

Shepard grinned victoriously as she followed Joker out of the Normandy into the Citadel. "I have a bad feeling about this..."Joker mumbled to himself as he entered the Ward.

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**(A/N)**

**Short chapter, but necessary to lead up to the next chappie, idk when that one will be up though..sometime next week. I'm gonna have fun with the next chapter~! If anyones curious, the song that inspired this story is called 'Never Too Late' by C.N. BLUE, hence the title of this lovely story. If you listen to the song..it comes off as a bunch of random words that don't make sense...cause it kinda is, but I don't know, it fits Joker and Shep IMO. I'm weird. Anyway if you've read this far, yay! I'm doing okay! I was trying to explain Project Overlord to my mum's bf today, he's not a ME fan, hes a hatey face, even though hes never played it. That DLC was sad though, I wanted to give David a hug my first play-through. My lame face is still hasn't beaten it on insanity! Too time consuming..I'm like at the part on Horizon, like at the last section. Ah, babbling. Good day to you reader!**

**I'm excited for the next chapter! Ideas Ideas~**


	3. Fuzzy and Cold Surprises

Shepard was talking to Captain Bailey in the C-Sec office, and after standing there for five minutes, Joker was bored. He wandered off into Citadel Souvenirs to see if he could find a gift for Shepard for "being such an awesome Commander". There weren't many choices, he knew Shepard collected ship models, but she practically had them all. He was going to get her a fish for her tank, but then he saw a cute hamster he knew she'd love for..._9k creds_? Ouch. He thought it was worth it so he paid the Asari running the shop the credits and left, the cage under his right arm.

He messaged Samara via omni-tool, asking her to come get the cage for him, not wanting Shepard to see it yet; he wanted it to be a surprise. Not many second later he got a reply that she'd be there momentarily. He was relieved Shepard hadn't come looking for him yet. He put the cage beside him and began to type a note on a data pad for Shepard to see when she found the hamster. When he was finishing up, Samara was already in front of him, kneeling on one knee on the ground, peering in the cage.

"What is this creature, Joker?" She questioned, her voice calm and controlled, as usual. Joker saw Shepard heading in their direction. He grabbed the cage and plopped it in Samara's blue hands, placing the data pad on top.

"Its a hamster, cute, fuzzy creature from Earth," Joker said quickly. "Look, just go put that in Shepard's room somewhere." She was getting closer. "Now...and try not to let her see it!"

He groaned when Samara made an odd face at him before quickly scurrying past Shepard. Shepard turned her head when she finally got next to Joker, her eyes opening wide, watching the Justicar running away, " Where is she off to? I just saw her coming through not that long ago."

Joker shrugged, "Ah, I don't know, her code-thingy is probably making her go...jogging or something." She eyed him suspiciously before heading towards the stairwell. Joker let out a sigh of relief, lifting his hat slightly, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand.

While adjusting his hat, he saw that Shepard was halfway down the first flight of steps, only the top of her barely-blonde hair visible. Joker went after her the best that he could with his stupid legs, shouting at her, causing a few heads to turn, "Hey! Shit! Wait for me!"

When he met up with her on the next floor, he followed her to various stores. She picked up a few upgrades that they didn't really need right now. He knew she'd forget to mention them to Mordin after their shore leave, she always forgets things she buys on a whim.

They also stopped and grabbed some Ramen, " I don't get why this stuff is so popular on Earth..." Shepard commented while stirring the noodles in the salty, brown broth with her chopsticks.

"Uh, because its amazing?" Joker said before stuffing himself with another mouthful.

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. He could tell she was smiling because he herd her laughing quietly to herself. She was so cute...but what was was so funny? He was pretty sure the noodles weren't that amusing. Was it him, or was she remembering something that's oh-so hilarious? Or... "You look like something straight out of a children's show when you eat, Joker." _'Damn, could she read minds?'_ He thought to himself, then shook his head,_ 'Nah.' _

After they ate, they headed up to the Dark Star Lounge. He saw a few of the _Normandy_ crew members. Zaeed was at a table not far from the entrance with two young-looking girls, who looked extremely interested in something he was telling them, probably some overly-exaggerated hero story he was making up. Joker went and got a table near the back of the club while Shepard grabbed a bottle of brandy. Shepard came over and poured a glass for the both of them, then took a seat. She held her glass up, " Here's to taking out those damn collectors."

Joker grinned, "And to you showing the Illusive Man who's boss!"

She laughed, "I'll drink to that!"

Their glasses clinked, and they both chugged down the warm liquid. While the glass was still at his lips, Joker saw a familiar-looking man heading in their direction. He slowly lowered his glass, mumbling to his self. "Oh great."

Shepard, still in her giddy mood, looked questioningly at Joker, "Something the matter?" He just stared in the same direction, causing Shepard to turn herself so she could see what was so freakin' interesting. Joker herd her gasp, not very loud, but loud enough for him to hear.

"Commander."

"Alenko."

Kaidan gave Joker an icy stare. "Moreau," he said, as if saying Joker's name left a repulsive taste in his mouth.

Yikes. It's cold in here.

Joker lowered the rim of his hat so his eyes weren't visible and grumbled.

"So, are you two on a date? I didn't know you had a thing for pilots, crippled ones at that," Kaidan said to Shepard, his voice bitter and sarcastic sounding. Shepard stood up, standing in front of Kaidan crossing her arms, her white eyes locked on his brown ones.

"I don't think my personal business is any of yours, _Commander_," her voice venomous and loud, "And Joker is the best damn pilot I've ever seen. He got us in and out of the Omega 4 Relay without a single scratch, so don't you _dare_ insult him in front of me again, or we **will** have a problem."

He herd her crack her knuckles through her suit. Joker closed his eyes tight, continuing to listen to their conversation; them talking like he wasn't even there.

Kaidan growled, "Well I don't think you should date the guy that took your life away!" His voice softened, "That took you away from me..."

"We aren't having this conversation here, Kaidan," She hissed. She looked like she were about to punch him, hard.

"Then come talk with me for a minute. Please." He let go of his 'commander stance', Shepard winning their silent contest of who would break their emotional control first. He had a desperate and pleading look on his face. Shepard's face was still hard and cold-looking. She was a master at hiding her emotions.

She directed a thumb over her right shoulder, "I'm here with Joker."

His face went back to his pre-breaking point, "I don't think Joker will mind," He glanced over Shepard's shoulder, "Will you Joker?"

Joker just stood up, "I'm tired listening to you two discreetly babbling about your touchy-feelie stuff anyway," he made a grossed out looking face, "I'll see you later, Shepard." He went towards the exit, ignoring Shepard's very few protest.

He made it back to the Normandy and leaned against the wall near his chair. If it were anyone other than Kaidan, he wouldn't have left. He knew Kaidan and Shepard had a thing before she died, and he didn't hate the guy _completely_, but Kaidan sure hated him. Hell, he hated himself for what he did to her, too. He remembered when they retrieved his pod without Shepard inside.

_Joker watched in agony as his Commander suffocated to death. Knowing he couldn't help her made him want to jump out of the pod, but then she would had died for nothing. When she finally stopped squirming, she began hurdling towards the nearest planet. That's when he knew the love of his life was gone. Forever._

_When they retrieved his pod, the crew that survived the attack were anxiously waiting as it was opened. All they saw was Joker, his face streaked with tears, and no Shepard. The whole crew was quiet for a brief moment, until a loud sob pierced the silence, "Keelah!" Tali broke out into a fit of crying, Liara quickly rushing to her side, which started a mass bombardment of questions amongst the crew. _

_Kaidan ran over to Joker, panic written all over his face, "Where's Shepard?" _

_Joker just sat there, staring at the floor, tears still falling silently down his cheeks, a few occasionally hitting the ground. Kaidan grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him roughly, yelling, "Where is she?"_

"_She's dead!"_

_With that, Kaidan threw Joker on the ground and kicked him repeatedly, hard enough to break every bone in his already fragile body. Kaidan jumped on him, his knees on both of his sides, and began punching him in his face. Garrus and Wrex ran over and grabbed him off Joker. While they dragged him away, he shouted, "I'll kill you Moreau! This is all your fault you insubordinate ass!"_

_He couldn't hear much anymore, everything was spinning. He was in so much pain, but nothing hurt more than the pain in his heart. Dr. Chakwas rushed over to him, pushing threw the crowd of the crew members huddled around him, "Don't touch him! Damn it! I need someone to help me get him on a stretcher! Someone go get Garrus! God, I hope he didn't fracture your skull. Joker, are you still with me?"_

_That was the last thing Joker herd before everything went black._

"Are you alright, Jeff? Should I contact Chakwas?" EDI asked, her voice filling the empty deck. He was trembling, tears falling freely at the awful memory. She had suffered because of him. Everyone suffered because of him. Shepard was still suffering every day. The Alliance abandoned her, her original crew had broken up, all of them changing in one way or another, and they're about to face the biggest threat in the galaxy. He clutched at his heart with his right hand, then turned and punched the metal wall with his left hand repeatedly, breaking his knuckles and causing them to bleed.

"I've contacted the doctor, she should be here momentarily." EDI said as Joker slid to the floor, still sobbing.

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**(A/N)**

**It was hard to write this chapter because, well, sad stuff makes me sad! I hope this story is making sense though. I wasn't planning to finish this chapter so soon, but it was pretty easy to write it out despite the flashback. Aw Joker... poor baby. Don't worry! Everything'll get better soon!...Maybe, I don't know ):...**

**I hope I don't make Kaidan seem too mean either, its just the way I think he'd be in this situation. **

**Next chapter is going to be a short one btw, and its going to kind of go and see what kind of conversation Kaidan and Shep has, so it takes place before Joker breaks down and stuff. ****It might be up tomorrow.**

**If you've been keeping up with this story, I hope you liked this chapter! If you've read this far I think I've been doing pretty decent! I'm really writing this for myself, but its for the J/FS fans. I was thinking about it, and I don't know who I like Shepard most with, if I were her I'd go crazy! All the guys are awesome in their own way...cept Jacob..I don't know he weirds me out sometimes. But if Joker was a choice...I'd go for it asap. Oh ME3, let it be possible! Probably not though. Boo. Oh, ew, babbling. I'm done. Thank you for your time reader!**


	4. Fuzzy and Cold Surprises,Part 2,Shepard

**RE-UPLOAD ****RE-UPLOAD ****RE-UPLOAD**

**********Orig : POSTED 9/14/2010**

**********Re-P : 9/16/2010**

**********There were so many errors in this I couldn't stand it. Last time I write when I'm sick. I'm uploading the next chapter so if you read this one already, read the next chappie!**

**************/RE-UPLOAD ****RE-UPLOAD ****RE-UPLOAD**  


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**(A/N)**

**I don't usually put these at the beginning of the story cause, well, people want story, not blabbing authors. First off, thanks to everyone who's been alerting, faving, and commenting on this story, I'm glad others enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing it. I'd just like to note that this chapter is going to be one of the very few Shepard-centered chapters. This whole story is centered around Joker, and if I put Shepard's thoughts, the story would be boring. It's necessary for some parts (like now) or I feel I'm leaving out important details. Anyway, this chapter is a "part 2". Kind of. It's total Kaidan/Shepard, focusing on the conversation they had after Joker left. If that makes you feel filled with awful and angry feelings, you can skip this one. It won't affect the story much, but you won't know where the two stand(K/S). Next chapter won't be up for a while because I have a nasty cold, but it's gonna be a good one...maybe! Suspense! This chapter is short so I pushed myself to write it, though it might be a little sloppy and dull, its only written to make things kind of clear. Ick and I know Kaidan's been harsh but hell! I'd beat up the person who I thought killed my bf, and I'm so sweet and non-violent ): . I love Kaidan though, hes a cutie pai! I might be doing a K/S after this one. BABBLES. I shall snuggles in bed and play Xbox until I fall asleep now! Enjoy dearie!**

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Shepard tried to get Joker to stay, but she knew he wasn't going to. She honestly didn't want to either. She whipped around and faced Kaidan with a scowl, "Why did you say those things? He didn't kill me, the collectors did!"

Kaidan averted his gaze from her's and mumbled, "I'm sorry, its just...I lost you, and if he had just obeyed orders..."

"It was no one's fault besides the _bastards_ who destroyed the _Normandy_!" Shepard shouted, banging a fist on the table.

Her loudness was starting to draw attention to them, so he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to a more private area of the club, despite Shepard's pushes and smacks with her free hand. He knew she wasn't really trying to get away because he'd be face down on the ground if she was.

When they stopped, Shepard's eyes roamed Kaidan's body discreetly. He hadn't changed in looks in the time they were apart, his brown eyes shining from the light reflecting off his black armor. They quietly examined one another, until Shepard asked, "What?"

Shepard froze as he lifted a gloved hand up and ran the back of it down the front of her short, platinum hair, slightly touching her pale cheeks, "You look so...different. I could barely recognize you the first time I saw you," She smacked his hand away, "Not that you look... bad, Shepard."

She snorted and tried to look him in the eye, and he avoiding her gaze, again, "Don't try and flatter me, you wanted to talk, so say what you need to say."

He hesitated, "I'm sorry for what I said to you on Horizon. Its just...you were gone for two whole years, and I couldn't believe it was you. Especially with Cerberus of all things. I didn't mean to come off as a total jack-ass, but loosing you was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with," he stepped closer, "I loved you, Ryla."

She sighed, speaking gently,"And how do you think I feel Kaidan? Waking up one day and finding out I was dead for two whole years, that I was rebuilt by Cerberus and ended up looking like this," she gestured aggressively with her hand from head to toe, her tone getting angrier, "and that anyone I ever cared about was a totally different person? I-"

She was cut short when her lips were caught by Kaidan's, immediately silencing her, her eyes opening wide at his sudden boldness. The kiss was gentle at first, until Shepard wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close and deepening the kiss. His kiss, his touch, his scent, she missed it all...or so she thought? Wait... she didn't feel right, _this_ didn't feel right.

She let go of him,"We can't do this."

Kaidan sighed, irritated she had pulled away, "I still love you Ryla. Ever since that night before Ilos...that night meant everything to me. _You_ mean everything to me. I've been trying to pull myself back together ever since you died... "

She backed away from him, "That was a long time ago, Kaidan...when I got your email after seeing you on Horizon, I had to make myself let go, you said you were seeing someone. Obviously you were already letting go and moving on."

He frowned, closing his eyes, "She's nothing compared to you Shepard, no one is."

"Then look me in the eyes and tell me you love me."

He wouldn't.

"Am I _that_ much of a monster that you can't even look at me for more than two seconds?"

Silence.

"I guess you don't love me as much as you thought?"

"It's just hard to get used to...it just reminds me that you've changed, that you aren't completely the same woman I fell in love with," Kaidan said, looking at her face, still avoiding eye contact.

Shepard laughed lightly, "You told me I changed on Horizon...but I was dead this whole time. I'm the same as I was before, minus the looks. But you...you're the one who's changed."

"I changed because I lost you, Shepard!" Kaidan shouted, his loudness irritating her.

"It's time for us to move on Kaidan...really. Too much time has passed."

"Is that what you want, Shepard?" Kaidan asked, the hurt obvious in his voice.

She nodded. She knew she couldn't have a relationship with Kaidan. He needed to let go, and she'd just hold him back. It wasn't like they could pick up the pieces and start where they left off, because some of those pieces were lost or broken. Plus, she had to focus on defeating the Reapers, and she couldn't promise she'd survive it all. Then she'd hurt him again, more than she already had. To make it simple, it just wasn't a good idea, period. Her heart wasn't in it.

Kaidan had a pained look on his face, "I understand, Shepard. Maybe one day..."

He placed a hand on her armored shoulder, and she smiled at him weakly, him doing the same, then he walked away.

Shepard waited a while before heading back to the _Normandy_, hoping Joker was alright, and wasn't _too_ upset about Kaidan ruining their mini-celebration. Probably not. She brought a new bottle of brandy with her so they could finish it together, hopefully with no interruptions. _'He's been acting...odd lately,'_ She chuckled to herself, _'when isn't he odd?'_ She walked into the Normandy, the deck empty, including Joker's chair. _'Did he come back to the Normandy?'_

"Joker?"

"Jeff is in the medical bay with Doctor Chakwas, Shepard." EDI chimed in, immediately striking the Commander with worry.


	5. Bury the Past and Silly Hats

"Sorry for wasting your free time doc," Joker mumbled. Dr. Chakwas was putting his broken hand in a cast while he was sitting on a bed in the med-bay.

"It's no problem dear, but I'm baffled as to what would make you upset enough to do such a thing," she gestured to the hand she was wrapping, "Care to explain?"

Joker had stopped crying long before now, though his eyes were still puffy, faint streaks of tears still lining his face. He shrugged at her question, looking at his feet, "I don't know, I just got mad, I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

After Chakwas was done patching up Joker's hand, she crouched down in front of him so she could see his face, "You aren't one to get angry easily," she thought for a moment, "This is about Ryla again, isn't it?"

He winced slightly, but the doctor noticed, "That's what I thought, same as the last time this happened. Jeff, that was years ago, it wasn't your fault."

He banged his good hand on the mattress, "but it was my fault! If I had just listened to her..."

Chakwas took a hold of Joker's clenched fist in her hands, trying to get him to calm down, "It was an accident, and obviously Ryla isn't dwelling on it as strongly as you are. Shes forgiven you, you need to try and forgive yourself."

He sighed and nodded. He knew she was right, but how could something as awful as that be forgotten so easily? Chakwas sat next to him on the bed and put an arm around him, pulling him over to her so he was leaning against her shoulder.

"You need to talk to the girl about how you feel," he looked up at her, frowning, and she frowned back, "How you really feel. You may be surprised. She won't be single forever, Jeff."

Dr. Chakwas is the only one in the whole universe who knows about how he feels towards Shepard. He let it slip after her death, but she kept quiet about it, and he was thankful for that. She was like...his cool grandma really; always there to take care of him with his Vrolik syndrome and all.

"Thanks for looking out for me, doc," Joker said sleepily.

"It's what I live for, dear." Then, after moments of silence, Joker drifted off to sleep.

Joker woke up two hours later. When he opened his eyes, he was laying flat on his back on the bed, and the lights were dimmed. He figured he was alone, until he looked at the bed to the right of him. Shepard was sitting on the mattress, her right leg crossed over her left, fiddling with her omni-tool. He noticed she was still in her armor, her lips were pressed in a thin line, like she was thinking over something hard. Her snow-colored eyes were scanning left and right over the tool. The orange glow of the device she was examining shined on her skin, adding color to her pale face. Joker squinted at her. Was she wearing his hat again? What the hell!

"Commander?"

Her eyes flicked up to look at him, then she frowned.

"I herd you were picking a fight with my ship, and I'm pretty sure you got beat up by a _girl_ lieutenant." He saw her light-pink lips tug into a small smile, "How you feeling?"

Joker sat up and moved his legs so they were over the side of the bed, "I'm fine, really, I just went a little bit berserk. I can still fly though so don't go replacing me or anything."

She rolled her eyes, "You could never be replaced, Joker. We do need to talk though."

She shut off her omni-tool with a few 'beeps' and sat next to him, turning to look at him. He did the same.

" Chakwas told me why you went 'berserk'. "

Joker swallowed hard, his gaze locking on the floor. "Oh geez, how much did doc tell her..."

"Look at me Joker."

He didn't.

She gently placed her fingers at the bottom of his chin, lifting his head up to face her. Even then, he wouldn't look directly at her. "Don't disobey my orders, lieutenant, or you'll be in for it," she said gently.

He looked into her eyes. They were gentle and clear, and they looked as if they had color in the light. She was so close, too. If he just leaned a little forward... "I'm only going to say this once, Joker. My death wasn't your fault." He turned his head away and she turned it back just as quickly, "I understand, and I'm not angry. Sure, it sucks some days, but you wanted to save the _Normandy _from those damn collectors. Flying is your life, and the _Normandy_ was your baby. My life is about protecting and saving others, and I _saved you_."

His eyes began to water again, "But if I had..."

She took a hold of his right hand with both of her gloved ones, "No more _'if I did this' _or_ 'if I had done that'_. We don't have time to live in the past. What's done is done. I'm here, you're here, and we have a universe to save, and I definitely _don't_ have time for my ship breaking my pilot, or vice versa."

She shot him a playful glare before rising to her feet, lightly rubbing the inner corner of her eye with her index finger, "I'm gonna go get out of this armor now though, then I have a few messages to get back to. I'll see you later."

He nodded, and she began to exit the room. Then he remembered, "Hey, Commander?"

She turned her upper body to face him, raising a barely visible eyebrow. He wanted to ask her why she kept taking his hat. Really, what was up with that? He decided to avoid the topic for now, she was cute in it, "Thanks for talking to me."

She smiled at him sweetly, the left the room. He laid back down, still thinking about his hat. He really didn't get it...she didn't even _like_ his hat!

_Joker was eating alone in the mess hall, until Shepard plopped in the chair in front of him. His fork with the mushy 'food' had stopped at his lips. Why was she here? She was usually with Alenko or Vakarian at dinner. He examined her. He couldn't deny that she looked good in uniform, her brown skin perfect against the blue material. Her light, brown hair seemed darker in the mess-hall's light. If you hadn't seen her in action, you'd think she was Commander because of how good she looked! Hell, the first time he saw her his crippled ass was ready to run a mile at her command. It should be illegal to be as powerful, amazing, and drop-dead gorgeous as her. She was nothing short of perfect. Even if she wasn't the most beautiful creature in the galaxy, he'd still love her because she was Shepard. It would take him forever to name every little thing she did that made his heart race. She could be the sweetest girl in the world, or the most brutal woman in the universe. It all depended on who pissed her off that day. Gosh, she kicked ass._

_Shepard was waving her hand in front of Joker's face, practically singing, "Hello, anyone there?" _

"_Oh, sorry, I'm just awestruck that **the** Commander Shepard is in front of me, right now," he extended both of his arms and did a little bow, "Hail Shepard!"_

_She glared at him playfully, scrunching her nose up in annoyance, but smiling at his Joker-ness._

"_So anyway, why are you here, Commander? I'm not one for talking much when I'm stuffing my face...With all due respect and all, does the rest of the crew think you have cooties or something," Joker questioned, proceeding to stuff a bite of food in his mouth. _

_Shepard frowned, "I've been barely spent any one-on-one time with you since we've gotten here. I like to know my crew."_

_He looked at her suspiciously, then shrugged, "Ask away."_

"_Something I've been wondering," She crossed her arms and nodded her head slightly in the direction of his head, "Whats with the hat?"_

"_Hm?"_

"_You're always wearing that thing, hats aren't even that popular anymore. I never see anyone with 'em besides you."_

_He took another bite of food, "I just like it, why? Is it bad?"_

_She smirked, a mischievous twinkle in her green eyes, then she chuckled, "I think it looks silly sometimes, I'm sure you look better without it."_

_And you'd look better with noth- what?_

"_This," he pointed to his hat with his fork, "Makes me - a trademark if you will," he pointed back at her with his fork and glared at her, "Don't insult the sexy hat!"_

_She raised her hands in defense and grinned, showing her white teeth, "Sorry!"_

_He growled and continued to eat his food while the Commander stood up and walked away. She ended up behind him, snatching the hat off his head, then started to leave the mess-hall. He turned his head around quickly, dropping his fork on his plate with a 'clink'._

"_What the hell? Shepard!"_

A couple of hours later, around 0900, Joker left the med-bay, heading back to Deck Two. He made his way back to his chair until he herd a quiet voice,

"Joker?"

He knew that voice anywhere, "Shepard?"

His chair turned around and the Commander was sitting in it in her Cerberus-issued uniform, even though they weren't with Cerberus anymore. Guess she didn't go shopping yet. She also was without his damn hat, her legs cross like a pretzel. He stood there in front of her, raising a brow as she looked at him with a light smile, her white eyes; liquid rimming them with emotion.

"Something the matter Shep-" he was cut short when the woman stood up and hugged him, tight. He was baffled and blushing by the spontaneous action; hugging wasn't something commonly done in their line of business. He wrapped his arms around her waist. The tightness of it was, he wasn't going to lie, painful, but to feel her cool skin against his, and to embrace her for a few moments, he'd deal with it.

"Ow," he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, "You're breaking me, Commander!"

She laughed and sobbed at the same time, "Stop whining lieutenant!"

She pulled back a little, her glistening eyes roamed around his face, "Thank you, for Aimzi. She's so cute... I love her," She hugged him again, laying her head on his chest.

Shit. He forgot about that hamster after all that's happened today. Even then...what would cause her to be so..._affectionate _over it? She was practically **clinging **to him!...Not that he was complaining. What did he write anyway? He thought about it.

_To my Commander,_

_I hope you found this before it died. Wow, that would be some fucked up shit, I swear it wasn't like that when I got it. So...anyway if it's not, that's good. It doesn't need to be fed as often as your fish, but don't forget to feed it! Water too!...Give it water, not water it, duh. It's a girl and I named it, but if you don't like it, name her something else, that's cool, no hard feelings. I got her for you so you could have a friend up there in your room. Her name is Aimzi, I like the name Aimée, so that's how I got that name, but I'm saving that for something. Don't take it! It's my favorite name, well, next to yours. Your name is cute and awesome at the same time, its fits you perfectly. Thanks for being the most kick-ass lady in the galaxy. You do kick ass you know, like, who else can go up to anyone and be like, "Hey, I needa go kill some stuff to save the entire universe, and the chances of coming back alive are less than slim. I know we don't really know each other at all, but will you come commit suicide with me?" And they say YES! Like, who besides you can do that? I'll tell you Commander, **NO** **ONE**. I'm glad I've gotten to be part of your crew on all these life-risking missions, they're so much fun. Keep doing your thing, I'll be here 'til the end! Nothing can stop you in this entire universe. Well, except that one Asari in Omega we saw that one time during shore leave. You remember, THAT one Shepard. Had you stop dead in your tracks for what was like forever! Hah, good times. I gotta finish this before you get here. Hell you're probably looking over my shoulder right now with your sneaky self. Ah, nope, you weren't there._

_Signed,_

_Your FL, Joker_

Oh yeah. Well it wasn't mushy or anything...but this didn't explain the woman in his arms and her reaction to it all.

Gosh, he loved it.

She pulled away slightly so her left hand was free, and the other was resting on his hard chest, his arms still wrapped around her waist. She ran her small fingers through her short locks, "Sorry, I just..."

His dark, green eyes were locked on her shining white ones.

He loved her.

"...No one's ever done anything like that for me and...wow."

She moved her face closer to his, slowly, their eyes never drifting away from the other's. Joker's heart was racing. What was she doing? Was he still asleep? He felt like he was going to wake up any second, "Joker, I-"

"Commander,"

Hearing EDI's voice caused Shepard to jump away from Joker, startling him as well.

Annnd there's the wake-up call.

"What EDI," Shepard asked, looking at the glowing orb next to her, obviously annoyed.

" Admiral Anderson has sent you an urgent message, he requested that you respond immediately."

"Alright EDI, I'll go check it now," She turned her head back to Joker, "I'll...see you tomorrow LT."

She scurried away to the elevator quickly as Joker sat in his chair. When he turned to his control console, all he could think about was,

"What the shit was that?"

**

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**

**(A/N)**

**Oh snaps! Things are getting in-tense! What's on Shepard's mind? Ohhh I'm excited for the next chappie, aren't you! Thanks to Kat for the idea w/ Chakwas and Joker 'bonding'. I was really gonna skip that part, cause I don't know Chakwas personality well. I had to go back to the game and some YT vids to get ideas to get doc's voice in my head, I liked it though. I'm pretty satisfied with this chapter overall, I think some J/S action was necessary after that K/S dealio last chapter. I'll have the next chapter up next weekend! Thanks for the alerts, faves, and comments! Hugs for you, reader!**

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**BTW, if you want to see a before/after of R. Shepard, links in the profile! Its line-y for now, I used a cell camera ): Can't get good shots til I get my camera back! Its clear enough to see, with slight editing on Post Shep. Yay visual aids! **


	6. Soldier's Don't Cry

"What did you say, Shepard?"

"I believe I just said 'No, I will _not_ be rejoining the Alliance', Admiral."

It was 1400 and Shepard finally got to read the Admiral's message, which was about him wanting to meet with her at the Presidium. It was alright at first, he was congratulating her on her victory against the collectors, then she had mentioned how she quit Cerberus. Not much later, Anderson was trying to perused Shepard into rejoining the Alliance, and she wasn't going to. Why should she?

Anderson paced back and fourth slowly in front of the soldier, watching her carefully, probably looking for a bluff. She was leaning her back against the balcony, her white armor and eyes were practically glowing in the sunlight; her hair looked shiny and bright.

"Why not Shepard? You'll need funding for your mission, and the Alliance will sup-"

"Do not tell me the Alliance will support me," Shepard interrupted, crossing her arms as she stared the Admiral down, "As soon as I do something the Alliance doesn't think is _right_ or is against _'regulations' _or some other bullshit, then what?"

Anderson was about to speak until Shepard raised a hand, silencing him, then tucked it back under her arm and continued to speak, "I don't have time to play by rules that won't matter by the time the Reapers kill everyone in the damn galaxy. I need to do this _my_ way, and I can't be held back by the Alliance. I'm still a Spectre, and even then the _Council_ might not agree with my choices from here on out, but they have agreed to fund me and my crew," She pushed her back so she wasn't leaning against the balcony anymore, "I'm sorry if you aren't happy with my choice, Admiral."

* * *

"EDI..."

"Yes, Jeff?"

"_EDI_..."

"Jeff, this is the one-hundred and seventh time you have said my name. Are you feeling well?"

Jeff was slumped in his chair, and he hadn't gotten Shepard out of his mind... though she was always on his mind. Gosh, she was so close, and EDI just _had_ to say something. It reminded him of that time he interrupted Kaidan and Shepard with a message from...**Anderson**! Was this like, punishment for _that_?

Joker began to sob dramatically, his hands covering his face.

Grunt stepped out of the elevator, and upon hearing Joker's weeping, all he did was mutter, "_Humans_," and, "Hello, Shep- oh, I see the anger in you woman," before leaving the ship.

Joker's head snapped up from his hands, stopping his 'crying', _'Shepard?'_.

He turned his chair to see her heading to the elevator, huffing and puffing, obviously filled with rage, "Hey Comma-" the elevator door shut, and then it was quiet.

He hadn't see Shepard seen that angry, well, _ever_. She wasn't one to go on rampages or to get upset easy. She always kept everything to her self.

_'Something must really be bothering her...' _

He kept to himself for about an hour, and wondering about what she was doing was driving him mad.

He got up from his seat and dragged himself over to the elevator.

"Jeff, I think it is best if you leave Shepard alone, I believe she does not want to be disturbed."

He waved his hand, as if telling the AI to go away, even though he know she'd never go away. When Joker entered the Commander's room, it was dark, asides from the blue glow from her stocked fish tank. He had only been in here once before, but it was the same as he remembered. It didn't have much in it, but she didn't spend much time in her room anyway, she was always around the crew.

Shepard was sitting on her black and white couch, her head turned to face him at the doorway. She turned her head back down into her lap and gestured with her left hand for him to come over. He walked over to her, and in the dim light from the fish tank he could see that she was holding something in her hands. She reached up with both of her hands cupped and said in a bit of a raspy voice, "Could you put her away?"

He held out his right hand and she put something soft and fuzzy in it. It was Aimzi! He gently stroked the top of her head with his thumb as he looked around near her desk near the bathroom for the cage, and eventually found it on the shelf. He opened up the top of the cage and put her inside. She put both of her tiny paws on the side of the glass, her white belly showing. Joker felt bad for her, he thought she wanted to hang out with Shepard still. Aww, it was cute.

Joker made his way back over to the Commander and looked at her sitting on the couch. She patted the spot to the left of her, and he sat down.

"Are you alright Commander? You seemed really pissed, if you don't mind me saying."

She didn't look angry, she looked more upset than anything. She ran her fingers through her hair repeatedly. He noticed she usually did that when she was upset or nervous. She didn't speak for a few moments.

"I push myself every day, I put my life and everyone around me's lives at risk at every moment. We do the impossible and live to tell the tale, but then the day after everyone seems to forget," her voice was quiet and full of emotion, getting louder every sentence that she spoke, "everyone only seem to remember the bad things, or the mistakes someone makes, never the good. It won't matter years from now if we stop those Reapers if we do it in a way no one likes, no matter how many lives we save, or how many are lost. They live in the universe we make safe, but then they criticize you for all the things they don't agree with after that, unless you die during battle," She sighed, " _'Die a hero, be remembered a hero.' _Right?. Even then, they still may belittle and dirty your name with lies."

She looked at him, her eyes dry and tired-looking, "I don't know how its going to all end, but we will defeat the Reapers, even if I die in the process."

She looked back down at her lap and he noticed that she was slightly trembling, even though her voice was steady and controlled, "I just want this to be over, I'm tired of fighting, tired of death and betrayal and..." She wiped at her eyes discreetly with her fingers, but Joker noticed, and with some unknown force of courage, he pulled Shepard to him so her head was against his chest. He had his right hand behind her head and his left arm holding her close to him. He didn't care what she did to him, or if she yelled. He just wanted to comfort her, to hold her in his arms when she obviously needs someone to do so.

Then he herd her sob as she clutched at his uniform with both of her small, but strong hands, holding onto the fabric. He never herd herd his Commander cry, hell, no one's probably herd her cry. She's gone through so many things that normal people would never be able to handle, shes seen so many people die, including her close friend Ashley Williams, and never shed a tear. He was sure these small sobs coming from this woman were years and years of buried emotions finally escaping after all this time. He gently stroked her hair, whispering soothing and reassuring words to her as she showed her extremely vulnerable side to him.

This went on for over twenty minutes, until Shepard moved herself up, her hands on both of his thighs supporting her upper body, but not putting enough pressure on his legs to hurt him. She looked at his face carefully, searching for something, but he had no idea what. Then she asked slowly and quietly, her white eyes still swimming in pools of tears, "What do you see when you look at me Joker?"

He didn't get what she was asking, "I see my Commander..."

She sniffled a little, wiping her eyes with her left wrist, holding herself up with her right hand, and spoke in a voice that nearly broke his heart, "Not as your damn _Commander_, as a person. Am I a monster?"

"A monster? Why would she say that...? She's fucking gorgeous! With her cute nose that does the scrunchy thing I love, and that smile that makes my heart ache. Her hair and eyes may be different than when we met, but I think her hair looks pretty, its so soft and shiny...and I could get lost in her sparkling eyes all day...She's far from a monster, she's amazing."

"You... mean that, Joker...?"

_'Shit! Did I say that out **loud**? Shit, shit, shit!'_

He silently took a deep breath, then forced himself to say, "You're beautiful, Ryla. The most beautiful woman I've **ever** seen."

She moved her face close to his, her lips inches away from his, her eyes locked on his. Her eyes were still watery, and a few tears rolled down her cheeks. She smiled lightly at him before gently pressing her lips against his. He felt his heart racing, he couldn't even comprehend that she was kissing him...it felt like a dream. Her lips were as soft, no, softer than he ever imagined. She pulled away slowly, examining Joker's face. He looked shock as all hell.

She whispered "thank you" before she turned away from him and laid her head on his lap. She was obviously tired, even though it was still early. After being in a daze for what seemed like hours, Joker stroked Shepard's hair as she rested, running his fingers through her pale, faint curls. Not many minutes later, the woman before him had drifted off to sleep.

He sat there until around 2100, and she was still asleep. He had tried to leave a few times, but she always tightened her grip on his waist, and he couldn't push himself to leave her. He slowly slid from under her head, holding it with his hands as he stood up. He laid her head gently on the sofa, and he looked over at her. He couldn't believe **this** woman was his Commander. _The_ Commander Shepard. The way she was curled up on the couch, she looked so...innocent, less intimidating than the way she usually looked on a day-to-day basis. Today he saw a whole new side to this complex woman. He headed quietly as he could, praying Shepard wouldn't hear him with her crazy supersonic hearing, wake up, and shoot him in the head.

Once he got back to his deck safely his mind wandered, once again, over the kiss they shared over six hours ago. Why did she do it? She couldn't possibly have feelings for him...could she? No way. He stuck with _'she was having a weak moment and her emotions got the best of her'_. Yeah, that sounded good to him. Hopefully she'd just ignore it and not mention it, but he... Gosh, he was confused. He really needed to tell her how he felt, but he can't. He won't. She needs a man that can be out there, fighting by her side; that can protect her. He couldn't do that. He already got her killed!

No matter how hard he's tried to let it go, like she told him to, like Chakwas told him to, everything always comes back to that. It was his fault. He'd bet creds if you told any person that situation, they'd blame him in a heartbeat. Shepard should just...kill him. It would make him feel 'better'..well he'd be dead so he wouldn't feel anything, but it would make them even. She would probably just smack him in his thick head for saying that. She told him once: "Accidents happen, but that doesn't mean you always get revenge, especially with someone over a mistake. Revenge is for when someone tries to hurt you on purpose. You wouldn't punish someone who knocked over a glass of water on you by accident, but you'd immediately knock over a fucker who deliberately threw it in your face."

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**(A/N)**

**Ahh the fated kiss has arrive! Joker isn't as thrilled about it as I expected, how bout you? Honestly, this has been the most difficult chapter for me to write. I honestly didn't want them to kiss so soon, but I felt as if its been dragged out too long. This isn't the end though! No no! Anyway...I'm suppose to be writing a speech thats due like, tomorrow, but I wanted to finish writing this! So I shall stop babbling and get my slacky butt to work! BEOWULF HERE I COME. Kaka. See you reader!**


	7. Sunset Confessions

"_Commander!" _

_Shepard was grasping onto the Normandy as the Collector's ship launched a second attack, the sun-colored beam ripping the ship apart._

"_Shepard!"_

_She quickly hit the red button to launch Joker's pod as she began slipping away from the Normandy, a loud explosion pushing her away from the collapsing ship, which then exploded itself. _

_It was quiet, his pod drifting._

_Then he saw her. Twisting, squirming, grabbing at the back of her black and red N7 suit._

"_No..."_

_He saw the faint bit of gray emitting from the suit as she clutched at her helmet in desperation. Suffocating. She was suffocating!_

_Gravity from the nearest planet pulling her to it's surface, spiraling, spinning._

"_Ryla!"_

Joker's eyes shot open, a thin layer of sweat covering his skin. The faint beeping of the consoles in the quiet, abandoned deck bringing him back to reality.

_'A dream.'_

More like a nightmare. Always clear as the day it happened, constantly haunting him, never changing, and it probably never will. How could he forget and let go, when his subconscious kept torturing him? The traumatic memories always brought back the painful emotions that came with them.

He shook his head roughly, trying to shake the thoughts from his head.

"Damn it, I need to get off of this ship..."

* * *

**(Shepard-orientated)**

Shepard woke up, her eyes opening, then quickly shutting as the bright light coming from her sky window drifted in. She slowly opens one eye, and then the other, each quickly adjusting to the sun. She sat up, looking around, feeling like something was..._missing_?

Her mind quickly flashed back to yesterday as she saw Joker's hat on her desk near the couch.

Joker.

She covered her face with both her hands, gently rubbing her eyelids with her fingertips. What had gotten into her? She broke down for the first time in...years. The last time she had cried was when her family and friends were killed by raiders on Mindoir.

Her fingers slid down to her lips as she remembered kissing him. Okay, crying is one thing...but what was _that_? He didn't seem to mind, he seemed to actually...

She stood up, her head slightly aching from standing up so abruptly, and took the hat from her desk. Then she walked over to the elevator, heading down to Deck Two.

Should she apologize? How do you apologize for something like that, anyway?

'_Oh hey, I, your Commanding Officer, am sorry for crying all over you like a baby, and then kissing you for no reason.'_

Was there really no reason?

...Or did she have... feelings for him?

She smacked her cheeks with both of her hands, trying to snap out of her delusional state. They were just friends, good friends. He made her laugh with his lame, though sometimes clever jokes, even if he was a sarcastic ass some times. He was there when she needed someone to talk to. She had so many good times with that guy, even though they've been to hell in back... and then to hell again. He was here, he said he'd always be here, and she believes him. Some things he says just gives her butterflies in her stomach. Like last night...he looked into her eyes and said she was...beautiful. She knew she wasn't, but just for a man to say it the way he did...

Oh gosh, she was falling for her pilot. Hard.

The elevator doors slid open and she took a deep breath before she stepped out. Her boots made it so her footsteps were audible as she approached an...empty chair?

"EDI?"

"Yes, Shepard?"

Shepard's eyes shifted around the room, "Where's Joker?"

"Jeff had not disclosed his destination before leaving the ship, Commander."

She growled, pinching the bridge of her nose while saying, "Well _find out_ then EDI."

"Right away, Shepard."

Shepard plopped in Joker's chair, her legs dangling over the armrest as she waited for the AI to do her thing.

Maybe she always had feelings for Joker, I mean, he wasn't bad looking, he was very handsome in fact. He had dark, green eyes that she always liked to look at, and she loved his scruffiness, it was her favorite thing about him. Something about it made her want to just snog him to death.

She placed her hand over her heart, slightly opening her mouth, breathing slowly as she felt it beating like mad.

"I have found his location, Shepard. He is at the Citadel Resort."

She pushed herself out the chair, not bothering to change into her armor.

_'Ugh. If I get shot, I'm shooting him!'_

She safely got to the resort, and even from the outside it was amazing. It was a white and gold skyscraper with all kinds of exotic objects and plants surrounding the entrance. Many people of different races passed by, a few coming or going into the resort. Shepard walked inside, a fountain was in the middle of the lobby, the walls were white and had various swirly golden patterns, and the floor was terrazzo, gray and had a strange pattern of white going throughout it. In certain parts of the floor there were triangular shaped, glass-covered holes that had water running underneath to the fountain.

Shepard approached the desk, which was being run by a young-looking human female. She had blonde hair that went past her petite shoulders, deep, blue eyes, and her eyelashes were coated in black mascara. Her makeup perfectly went with her gold, black and white uniform: a pale, gold eyeshadow, and a very subtle pink lipstick. She was really pretty in Shepard's opinion.

She eyed Shepard, making a really displeased-looking face, before plastering on a fake-smile and saying, "Hi, I'm Chloe, welcome to the Citadel Resort. Will you be staying alone tonight?"

"I'm looking for my friend who's staying here tonight."

"Oh, do you know what room they're in?" She asked, grinning at the Commander.

"Uh...no. I was hoping you'd tell me. His name is Jeff Moreau."

She frowned, "Sorry ma'am, we aren't allowed to give out customer information, including the room they are residing in. Safety and privacy reasons."

Shepard crossed her arms, she really didn't feel like playing this game, "Look, 'Chloe'. I don't have time for this. He's part of my crew on my ship, so just tell me where he is before things get unpleasant around here."

She scowled, annoyed by Shepard's threat, "How about I have security escort you outta here before things get "unpleasant". Though just looking at you is unpleasant enough." She flipped her blonde hair behind her shoulder before gesturing her hand over to the large Krogan standing in the corner.

Shepard grabbed Chloe by the front of her white shirt, glaring at her as the woman gasped, "Do you know who I am?"

Chole sneered, "Should I care? Obviously you're a lunatic." She turned her head and began to shout to the oblivious Krogan, "Secur-"

Shepard pulled the woman so she was nearly on top of the desk, "Shepard. Commander of the _Normandy_. First human **Spectre**. Ring a bell?"

The girl's cocky attitude suddenly diminished and was replaced by fear and embarrassment, "Oh, God. Shepard! I-I'm sorry, I didn't recognizes you! I...If you let me go I'll give you the room right away."

Shepard let go of the girl, trying to contain the laughter she wanted to release as the woman quickly smacked away at the keyboard in front of her, "Ah, Moreau, room 601...just take the elevator behind you to floor 20, and it's the room to your immediate left," She lowered her head slightly, avoiding Shepard's eye contact, "I'm sorry for any inconvenience I've caused you ma'am. Here's a spare card just in case you have trouble getting in."

She took the card and turned to head towards the elevator, and when she got in, she was joined by a human couple. They were young looking, and she guessed they'd just gotten married by the way they couldn't keep their hands off one another. Shepard averted her gaze until she got to her floor, because it was just getting awkward to look at, and stepped out, leaving the couple squealing and laughing in-between kisses.

She stood in front of the door. What was she going to do when she got in there...why was she here? I mean, maybe he wanted to just get off the ship since they'd be back to business tomorrow, or maybe something was truly wrong? What would she say? Anything?

* * *

**(Joker-ness)**

Joker was sitting on the balcony of his hotel room on a...very comfortable bench, while trying to scratch at an itch under his cast. He didn't get to see much of anything but space usually, and the inside of the ship. The view was nice out here, the floor he was on was up pretty high, and the sun was setting behind the rows of buildings across the Citadel. It was nice to just be off the ship for a while. He closed his eyes, seeing red behind his lids as the sun shone on them. He exhaled deeply as he enjoyed the warmth on his face.

Then he felt a hand on his shoulder.

His eyes shot open and turned his head to the right quickly. His eyes wandered up to the face of the person standing behind him,

"Shepard?"

She smiled at him gently, her white eyes reflecting the light from the sun, she was wearing his hat again, a bit of her platinum hair showing. She walked in front of him, leaning her back against the balcony. He immediately noticed she wasn't wearing her armor, and it bothered him. She never left the ship without it, especially without backup.

"So, why'd you come here?" She asked, her voice sounding like she had a million questions.

He shrugged, "I just wanted to get off the ship a while, you know, we leave tomorrow and I was like, why the hell not?"

Her mouth took an "o" shape, and she looked as if she were in deep thought. Her eyes were concealed now that she was out of direct sunlight by the rim of his hat, and she kept playing with her fingers,

"Look...about yesterday."

The one thing he was hoping she'd forget... "Look, Shepard, its fine. I get it. You were all confused and stuff. Flyboy's not holding a grudge. Trust me."

"What do you mean?"

"I know you were upset, and I'm glad you trust me enough to let me be there for you...and I know you didn't _mean_ to kiss me so...it's cool. You don't mention it, I won't. Yay secrets!"

She bent down and glared at him as he shrugged and rolled his eyes dramatically. She took him by his right hand, tugging at it, and then he slowly stood up. He watched her as he saw her eyes narrow in thought; he could tell she was debating on something in her head.

"Uh, Shep?"

Her eyes opened, and he found his gaze caught by her icy eyes. He saw her slowly lift up a hand, then put it back at her side.

"Joker, I..."

He looked at her strangely. She's acting pretty weird, pretty nervous. What was wrong?

"Do you feel anything towards me?"

He tilted his head at her, "You're confusin' me Commander, is this like _'play with Joker's brain day'_? If it is then _man_, you're doing a good job."

She growled, obviously not in the mood for him and his 'funniness', "I mean, do you feel anything when I do _this_?"

She stepped closer to Joker, and leaned in to press the lightest of kisses on his lips.

His breath hitched as she pulled away, her eyes obviously searching his for an answer, while his head was debating on what to even say. When minutes passed by without a word, she lowered her head slightly, and began to head back into the room. She was stopped when Joker grabbed her wrist with his hand, and she turned her head to look at him. He was still standing in the same spot, facing the darkening sky. Then he spoke the words that he thought he'd never speak.

"I...love you Ryla."

She froze in place, not uttering a word, barely breathing. He can't believe he just said that. She walked over to the spot she was previously standing in front of him and spoke low enough that she was practically whispering, "How long have you...?"

He looked up at the balcony bottom above him, "It's gonna sound cheesy and unoriginal but I've been practically in love with you since I first met you. I knew you were special the minute you introduced yourself to me," he looked at her, "and you've only been proving me right every day since."

She frowned at him, "Why didn't you ever-,"

He gave her an annoyed look, "Alenko. Plus I'm all breakable and stuff, no woman wants that in their life."

She stepped closer to him, and he could feel her breath on his face, "What if I want that... you?"

He shook his head, "Shepard...you need someone who can be there for you; protect you. What have I done for you? I got you k-."

She pinched him on his shoulder, "Ow! What the hell Shepard!"

"Don"t bring up my death ever again Moreau! And that's an order!"

"But..."

She wrapped her arms around his torso, holding him gently, leaning her head against his chest. His stomach ached, and his heart was racing. If she hadn't just pinched the fuck out of him he would think he was dreaming.

He felt her snuggle her face against his chest before she looked at him and whispered, "I'm falling hard for you, Joker."

He moved his right hand up to her face, gently stroking her cheek with his thumb. She leaned up and kissed him, placing her right hand on his shoulder. The kiss was hard, but soft, firm, but gentle. Shepard licked his lips a few times, but made no move to enter his mouth. She broke the kiss, but Joker pulled her back to him and bit her lower lip gently. She pulled away from him and guided him back to sitting on the bench, climbing over his lap with both of her knees resting on the seat.

"Jeff..." She ran her hand over his head, locking her eyes on his. She'd never used his name before, and he was honestly getting nervous.

"Ryla, what are you..." She brought a finger to his lips,

"Show me how much you love me tonight. This is our last night together before we have to go fight a battle that we may not even survive...we may never be able to be together like **this **again. You and me, Jeff. _Please_."

And that night was like nothing Joker had ever imagined.

* * *

**(A/N)**

**Snaps! Black screen! But awwwr. Shepard likes Joker and he confessed his love! Chakwas was right! :3 Anyway I wanted to keep this story at a T rating, but I will be posting their lovely night as a separate 'story', so if you really want to know what happens, look out for that. Anyway, THIS IS THE 2ND TO LAST CHAPTER! It's not the end of the story completely, a sequel will be coming outtie! The next chapter I post IS significant to this story, but its like a prologue to the next story. Just read it :D. I'll explain with the final chapter, its going to be a blast to write! Thanks for reading this story so far! Its far from over!**


	8. Almost Happy Endings

As soon as the doorbell rang, the sound of tiny footsteps running across the metal floor filled the living room. The small child pressed a button on their door's security system to activate the camera and saw a woman standing outside, immediately causing her to quickly opened the door,

"Mommy!"

Shepard dropped her bag inside and scooped the child into her arms, hugging her close while the girl squealed and giggled, wrapping her little arms around Shepard's neck.

"Oh, you've gotten so big! Where's daddy?"

She pointed a tiny finger to the kitchen, then wrapped her arm securely back around her mother as she was carried. The man sitting at the kitchen table turned his head and smiled,

"Welcome back, Ry."

She kissed him quickly on the lips before sitting in the chair next to him, the girl letting go of her neck and resting on her knee,

"I missed you guys so much," she said while tickling the girl, small giggles escaping her lips, "How have things been around here the past two months, Jeff?"

He shot a glare at the child sitting on her lap who had instantly stopped laughing as Shepard asked that question, shaking her head vigorously, her long hair flying all over the place. She hid her face as he pointed at her,

"She totally got in trouble for drop kicking a boy in kindergarten last week! And what's sad is our five-year-old child is _**capable**_ of doing that!"

Shepard set the girl in front of her, giving a hard look, probably terrifying to a child. It terrified Joker, and he got that look at least once every time he saw her,

"Aimée Rhey Moreau..."

"Mommy," she shouted, placing her hands on Shepard's knees, "He was picking on me and poking fun at my spreckles! I telled him Momma, I say if you don't stop poking fun I'll beat you up and he say I won't and I'm just a freaky biotic girl!"

Shepard sighed, shaking her head, "That doesn't mean you should hurt other people. That's when you tell the teacher, or Daddy, or call Mommy."

She looked up at her mother with large eyes, full of tears and fear, "I said I was sorry to him Momma, I really am, honest."

Shepard nodded, waving her off, not wanting to make Aimée cry during her short visit, and then the girl ran off into the living room. Joker turned his body so his knees were against hers, and looked at the woman before him. She was in her civvies, her icy hair that was past her shoulders was down, shining from the light seeping through the window, and her albino eyes full of radiant happiness.

"Hi," she whispered as she smiled at him. Gosh he loved her smile. He leaned over and kissed her soft, pink lips that he's missed so much these past couple of months. She ran her fingers over his beard, slightly tickling him as their tongues fought a mini-war. He pulled away from her, pressing his forehead against hers as he took her hands in his,

"Hi, gorgeous."

They had gotten married six years ago, a year after he confessed his love to her, and two days before they fought the Reapers. It was a simple ceremony on the Normandy, no suits or dresses; it's what Shepard wanted. He'd never understand how such a complex woman could be so simple. Shepard kept her name to avoid confusion, because she was going to remain a Spectre. He didn't care though, he knew she was his, and that's all that mattered.

They didn't know Shepard was pregnant until after the Reaper battle, three months by then in-fact. Joker nearly died when he herd the news, and Shepard was ecstatic about it. Though as soon as he held his daughter in his arms, he felt like the luckiest man alive. He gave up flying to take care of Aimée, while Shepard was off on various missions in the galaxy, and he loved spending every moment with his baby girl. He just wish Shepard could be here with them, instead of the occasional video chat they got in once in a while, or the rare visit. She had a job to do, and he knew she hated it as much as he did sometimes, missing the milestones in her daughter's life. She was five now, and honestly, she was a handful. It was hard to keep up with her sometimes because of his legs, and she was always full of bouncy energy. She had a ton of medical problems when she was born, and without modern medicine she wouldn't be here. They're mostly due to Ryla's whole 'Cerberus rebuiltness', and she blamed herself every night she was in the hospital. She's fine now thankfully, but we have to be careful when she gets hurt because her blood doesn't clot properly. It's difficult because she's always doing dangerous things. She also has night blindness, and she's afraid to be alone at night, so I have to stay with her until she falls asleep. She had curly, auburn hair that reached the middle of her back. Her eyes are both differently colored, one is the same shade of green as mine, the other is a greyish color. She has pale freckles about her face, which Shepard says she gets from her mother, who Joker never got to meet. Other than that, she was the splitting image of her mother, she had her cute nose, and her lips, eyes and face had the same shape. Shepard says she had his attitude, but she has her mothers determination and heart.

Aimée loved to watch videos about her mother when she was gone. All she talked about how cool her mommy was and how she wanted to be just like he when she grew up. Honestly, it scared Joker, knowing all the hell they've been through. He wanted her to grow up and be safe, but he couldn't protect her forever. He already could tell she was going to follow in her mother's footsteps.

"Mommy! Look what Uncle Garrus taught me!"

Shepard turned her head and Joker did the same, seeing Aimée with a pillow she took from the couch. She tossed it in the air and did what looked like a reverse hook turning kick, sending the pillow flying across the room, striking a pose afterward. Shepard clapped her hands in approval and Joker did a massive facepalm, "Shepard don't _encourage_ it! Garrus keeps teacher her how to kick people's as-er... butts when he comes to visit on the weekends, and it's _scaring_ me! Remember _I _have to deal with it, and she can take down a grown man! She did it to the neighbor last month remember?" He rubbed his face with his palms and grumbled, "And I'm the easily-breakable kind of man!"

Garrus was obsessed with Aimée since she was born, fascinated by the "little human". He lived near where they lived, so he gave Joker a break and took her some days, her coming back having learning _something_ , that something usually dangerous and inevitably causes her to tear the house apart.

Aimée ran over to her father and hugged his legs gently, "I never hurt you Daddy, I love you very much."

Joker ruffled her hair, "Love you too squirt. Go put the pillow back and put on something pretty," he looked up at Shepard , "we're going to the park to have a picnic."

She did a small salute, "Aye daddy!"

The girl went and picked up the pillow, skipping out of the room. Shepard raised a brow at Joker as he patted her knee twice, "You too!"

She shook her head, and Joker nodded at her while she did so. She groaned and stood up, giving him the same look she had given Aimée not long ago. He stood up and pulled her close, planting quick kisses on her lips. He stopped when her scowl was replaced by a smile,

"Fine, I'll go get changed..."

Twenty minutes later, Joker was sitting on the couch since he had already been changed in black pants, shoes and turtle-neck top with a white stripe running through it, still waiting for his girls to come down. He was startled when he herd shouting,

"Aimée Rhey! Mommy doesn't like it!"

"Come on, Mommy! You look like my dolly!"

He swore he herd Shepard mumbled, "Yeah, that's the problem..."

He saw Aimée coming down the stairs, pulling Shepard by the hand, Shepard leaning over slightly to accommodate her height. When they reached the bottom of the steps however, he realized she was trying to hide behind the small girl. Aimée pretended to clear her throat, raising a tiny fist to her mouth,

"I present, my mommy!"

She ran away from Shepard and jumped on the couch next to Joker, Shepard left standing there looking extremely uncomfortable. Joker's jaw dropped seeing his wife.

Ho-ly shit.

Shepard was wearing a two-toned sundress that was mid-thigh, red-orange on the bottom half, and a pale orange on the top half. It had buttons going down the center, and a tiny, flowery red-orange design at the top. She was also wearing red-orange flats. Her normally straight hair was in loose waves, a light layer of pink blush tinted both of her pale cheeks, and peach lip gloss coated her lips.

He whistled as he walked over to her, a growl escaping her lips as he got closer to her. He took her by the hand, lifting it above her head as she reluctantly twirled around for him, "Never thought I'd see the day when m'lady was all _'dolled up.'_"

She smacked her forehead, realizing he was referencing to what she had said earlier as he chuckled to himself at his 'witty' joke.

"Aimz, come here and lemme see you!"

The little girl came over in front of her parents and spun in multiple circles as she showed off her dark gray jumper with an aqua long-sleeved shirt underneath, aqua stockings and black mary-janes. Her curly hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail, showing off her cute face,

"Yeesh, stop spinning. You're making me dizzy," Joker said, pretending the room was spinning, "you look adorable though, you both do." She grinned as she ran over and hugged her mother's legs,

"My mommy is the prettiest mommy alive! I want to dress her all the time!"

Joker went and got a camera off the table, "Lemme get a picture of you two!"

Shepard rolled her eyes, wanting to protest, but she knew he wouldn't give up. She bent down so she was crouching next to Aimée, wrapping an arm behind the girls back, and Aimée wrapped her arms around her mom, laying her head between her neck and front of her shoulder, facing the camera, both smiling sweetly as the camera flashed.

"Lemme take a picture, daddy!"

He handed Aimée the camera after showing her how to use it. He stood behind his wife, wrapping his arms around her waist, and resting his head on her shoulder. They both smiled as their daughter took the picture.

* * *

They went to a park not far away from their home, it had a playground for the children, a small lake nearby, and a lot of open field. They had just gotten done having their own little picnic together, swapping stories amongst one another. Aimée was off exploring the play-escape, leaving Joker and Shepard to themselves a while,

"If you keep staring at me like that, I may need to shoot you."

He gasped, pretending to be offended, then smiled at her, "Sorry Ry, I'm just happy to see you, _and_ I probably won't see you in a dress again for **years**!"

She chuckled and kissed his cheek, then he snuck in a quick kiss before taking her hands, "So, when do you leave?"

She gazed down at the blue and white checkered blanket they were sitting on, chewing slightly on her bottom lip, "Tomorrow morning..."

"What do you mean tomorrow?" Joker shouted, causing Shepard to flinch.

She looked up at him, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear, "I have no choice, the Council has the belief that the Reapers are coming back. No idea where they came up with that, we wiped those fuckers out. You never know though."

He pulled Shepard close so she was leaning against his chest, his arm around her waist, "You know Aim is going to go ballistic when she finds out, right? She wanted you to take her to school, and do all the girly stuff I'm stuck doing...like playing with dolls..."

She shook her head and looked at him, "You know I have to go, Joker, and hopefully she won't hate me in the future. I'm doing it so everyone can be safe. Including you guys."

"She won't hate you Ryla, she admires the hell out of you. She just misses her mom, and so do I." She placed her hand on the back of his neck, pulling him close and captured his lips with her. There was nothing that Joker loved more than Ryla and his daughter. He didn't know what he would do if he lost either of them.

* * *

"No, Mommy! You can't go!"

Shepard was in her civvies, her bag slung over her shoulder, crouched in front of her daughter who was crying in her arms.

"Mommy has to go, she'll be back soon."

"But Momma always leaves! We never get to play together or anything!"

Shepard kissed the girl's forehead, "Next time, Mommy will come back for a long time, okay? Here, look, I got you a present."

She took a pretty light-brown bear with darker brown spots on it out of her bag, handing it to Aimée, who's eyes lit up, her rapid sobbing ceasing as she held it in her arms.

"It's mine?"

Shepard nodded and whispered near her ear, "Press its paw."

Aimée squeezed the bear's paw, and her mother's voice emitted from the bear, saying :

_'Your Mommy loves you, Aimée'_

Her mouth hung open, captivated by the bear. She looked up at her mom as Shepard spoke to her, "It'll always remind you of how much I love you, so just squeeze it whenever you miss me, alright?"

She nodded and gave her a tight hug, "I love you too Momma, promise you'll come back?" She held out her tiny pinky, and Shepard wrapped hers around it and nodded,

"Promise."

Shepard stood up and walked over to her husband, who was standing by the doorway, watching them the whole time. The _'good'_byes were his least favorite thing. Ever. He sighed and pulled her into a hug, planting quick kisses on her cheek and neck.

"I'll miss you guys," Shepard mumbled against Joker's shoulder, obvious hurt in her voice.

He nodded, "We'll see you soon hopefully."

He pulled back and looked as Shepard's face, tears silently sliding down her cheeks, her white eyes sparkling from the liquid. She kissed him, pressing her lips against his hard, him returning it with equal desperation. The ache in his heart was killing him. He wanted to make her stay with him and Aimée, but he couldn't, and he hated it.

She pulled away from him slowly, quietly whispering, "I love you, Jeff."

He kissed her gently again, "I love you too, Ryla. Be safe for us."

She nodded before adjusting her bag on her shoulder and heading out of the door. She glanced back and waved at her husband and daughter standing in the doorway before she continued to walk away.

But sadly, promises are sometimes broken.

* * *

**(A/N)**

**-sniffs- This is my most favorite chapter, ebar! I'd love to keep writing chapters about Aimée as a child, cause well, shes flippin ridiculously pwnsome. Sadly, ideas are already swimming in my noggin' so I have to end the short, but sweet J/S story here. There is a sequel that I will be posting soon, and its total O/C, centered around Aimée, , so if you hate stinky O/Cs, then just pretend this is the end!**

**Unless...you like Aimée. Trust me, its gonna be way better than this one, more characters to work with is way easier for me.**

**Heres what the summy might be, kinda sorta, along with the Def story name!...don't read if you want a happy ending! Thanks you for reading! ~**

**

* * *

**

**Title: Quietus**

**Summary:** During a Council-issued mission, Shepard went MIA, not being found. Whats worse is the Reapers are back,

and hitting the universe hard. Can the daughter of a hero, and her father reassemble her

mother's team and stop the Reapers for good? TP 14 years after It's Never Too Late.


End file.
